My Sacrifice

Wednesday, February 25, 2009 is Ash Wednesday. In the Catholic church this signifies the beginning of Lent. A season in which we, as Catholics, prepare for the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, more commonly known as Easter. Without getting into the nuts and bolts of what Lent means to Catholics, the primary way of observing Lent is to give something up. Some use this sacrifice as a stepping stone to quitting something that is a vice in their life such as smoking, others give up something they really enjoy such as ice cream, and some (like me in years past) give up something they know they can go without just to say they did it such as soda.

Now I am not an in your face Catholic by any means, although I was brought up going to church every Sunday morning and every holiday. Somewhere along the lines my beliefs became skewed due to some problems in the Church today. But that is another post for another time.

I do, however, believe that the season of Lent came at the right time for me. I am fresh off of a mental collapse for the ages. With seemingly nothing going right for me and with everything going seemingly perfect for others from my past, I essentially lost my mind to the point where I even allienated my best of friends. They were there for me without even a minutes hesitation and I was to screwed up to recognize it fully. Although I thanked them profusely for being there I still feel I screwed up royally.

As with any screw up of epic proportions there is the physical and mental hangovers. Physically I felt worse than being trapped in a dentist's chair at a Kid N Play concert. Mentally, I took inventory of my life. I knew I was embarassed about my actions and I certainly did not want them repeated. It is from that self evaulation I decided to take some steps to rectify what I view is wrong and implement them to make some improvement.

The first and most evil of all my vices is alcohol. I know the first step to a problem and yadda yadda but its beyond that. It use to be fun going out and having beers with the boys and having innocuous stories the next morning. What has changed is I use to be the one telling the stories the next morning and being able to poke fun at myself. Now I am having the stories told to me and being made fun of about them. No longer am I able to poke fun at myself because there is no fun in any of the stories, for anyone. Alcohol can be a poision and it has turned into that for me. When it gets in my blood, I become a totally different person and that needs to stop. Lord willing after 40 days, I will not be at all dependent on this poison.

While I understand this is going to be a true challenge and test of my will and requires my undivided attention, there is one more vice I need to rid myself of. As stupid and utterly ridiculous as this may sound, I am giving up Facebook/Myspace for Lent as well. Anyone who knows me, knows that I hold myself to very high standards. At the same time, I do not tolerate failure of myself well at all.

When I click around the Book lately, I see many people from my past are hugely successful. I see myself as anything but successful at the present time. I don't have that "real" job, I am not engaged and there's no one within 7 years of it, and none of my life's goals are anywhere within reach. The combination of mindlessly clicking around Facebook and being drunk while doing so, did not help my mental sanity. At the same time, do I really need to know what everyone is doing every 20 minutes?

I am sure I will be blogging about this upcoming time period. I know I will have my trials and tribulations with it. After all this is a far cry from giving up soda. But change needs to happen in my life and the only way that happens is if I change some things myself. I have learned improvement is not about improving yourself 100% its about improving 100 things about yourself 1% each.

So cheers all, I'll be the guy with the tonic in the corner if you need a ride home.

-Hustle

The Rodriguez Show

Stop. Please just stop all this madness with Alex Rodriguez. Stop the witch hunt to condemn everything he has done in his life. Get the man out from under the microscope. I beg of you. Please let me go a month without hearing anything about Alex Rodriguez, aside from what he does on the field. In my 23 years on this earth, I have never seen a man be scrutinized as much as he. I have never seen so many people determined to bring another human being down.

Let us look at all the non-stories that have become all to public before the real crap hit the fan these past few days.

*A-Rod is seen in Toronto with someone that is categorized as a "butch" stripper named Joslyn Morse. If I had to hazard a guess, I would say that about 60% of professional athletes go out to strip clubs. It is also my belief that about 30% of them cheat on their wives. Maybe I am being a little harsh here but I believe you understand my point. A-Rod is out with someone that is not his wife and 15 seconds later there are pictures all over the internet. And to pour salt in the wound we refer to her as "butch."

*A-Rod goes through his divorce. Many people are getting divorced nowadays, yet we enjoy the trauma A-Rod has to endure. On top of it all, he ends up allegedly dating Madonna. For this we make fun of him. We don't hassle Tony Romo because he is dating the now whale-esque Jessica Simpson. No, no we hop on A-Rod and love it.

*Every week there is a story out of New York about A-Rod's relationship with his teammates. Do his teammates support him? Why can't A-Rod be more like Jeter? Even his teammates call him A-Fraud! Why does this man have to endure this time and time again?

The answer is simple. Signing the infamous 10 year $252 million contract put A-Rod in a permanent spotlight. No one looks at the fact that, yeah, he just might "deserve" that kind of money. Here is a guy who played more than 155 games 7 times in his career. Here is a guy who puts up video game statistics year after year. He is the best player to ever play the game. As a Red Sox fan, he strikes fear into me every time I see him stride to the plate.

If we look at other icons in their respective sports, doesn't Kobe Bryant jump out at anyone? He raped a girl! RAPE! But oh no, let us scrutinize A-Rod for yelling "I got it" while he was running the bases in Toronto, distracting a player from making a routine catch. KOBE RAPED SOMEONE!

Although not the icon he used to be, Ray Lewis literally got away with MURDER! He KILLED 2 people! But wait a minute, did A-Rod slap a ball out of Bronson Arroyo's glove? Now that is a mortal sin! It is ok Ray, you can kill as many people as you like, and go onto play in a Super Bowl. We aren't going to care that you have taken the lives away from others. A-Rod is busy playing bush league baseball.

I am eternally grateful that A-Rod came out and admitted his steroid usage. He showed that he has the potential to be a man of character and principle in admitting his transgressions. Granted he was helped from prior instances. (See Bonds, Barry and Clemens, Roger vs. Giambi, Jason and Pettite, Andy.) I sincerely hope that this helps ease the spotlight on A-Rod. Let the man live his life, play his game, and not be under public duress for the rest of his life.

-Hustle

Expect the Unexpected

If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now.

I received a text message from a girl that I have been fighting like hell to get over for a couple of months now. Seems like a small innocuous act. The problem here is that I swear, I was in fact through with her and ready to tackle whatever was to be the next chapter of my life. I know this is true because I had not thought of this girl for a long time. That may seem meaningless on the surface, but when someone occupies your thoughts day and night, to the extent that they are the first thing you think of when you wake up, and the last before you get your shuteye, it is a huge step.

Alot of this story can be traced back to my "It Happens" post, I wrote not to long ago. Now I am at a complete loss for words due to a damn text message. Millions of questions have flooded my mind since. Why is she texting me? Why now? Do I respond? If so, what do I say?

After settling down, I thought about the scenario with as clear a head as possible. No logical reason came to me as to why she would text me. Last I knew she was perfectly happy with her boyfriend. I am not bitter or mad at her about anything. We became extremely close through all the crap we went through together. Because I still cared for her, I thought it necessary to take time to have some space between us. During that time I was able to "get over" the fact we were no longer together.

Now that I was finally at peace with myself, my phone vibrates in my pocket violently, scaring me half to death. And I am back to square one. Maybe it is all cyclical. Maybe Makine is right in that everything is a game. No matter how hard you try to be straight forward, there is always an edge or an upperhand to be had. I think it is completely bogus that person A can have such an effect on person B, that a simple dinky text message sends person B into an absolute frenzy.

No matter what the outcome of this seemingly trivial situation is, I have learned one thing. Expect the unexpected.

-Hustle

The Realities of Officiating

I recently attended a college basketball game to see my beloved Providence Friars take on the Villanova Wildcats. After being down by 20 with less than 9 minutes to go, I came very close to writing off my team. But then the Friars went on a frantic run to close within 1 with less than a minute remaining. Then the unthinkable happened. 3 completely, absolutely, God-awful calls were made by men that call themselves referees. To make a long story short, PC lost and there was a near riot in Providence with people calling for the refs' skulls on a platter. Most notably that of Timmy Higgins, undoubtedly the worst referee in the country by a large margin. He is so bad I know his name! How does that happen?

I have been involved in sports all of my life and have witnessed some great officiating and some poor officiating. The definition of great officiating in my eyes is when you do not even realize the referees are there. Referees are necessary to keep order in any sport. Rules are in place for them to enforce and they should not abuse them or ignore them. That is when trouble occurs.

I am currently a high school basketball coach and have had my fair share of experience with many different personalities in the reffing community. You have the cocky and arrogant "gentlemen" that believe they walk on water and are the second coming of Christ. In reality they are both (with respect to these cultures) blind and deaf. You have the guys that must let everyone in the gym, rink, or field know that they are in fact there by blowing their whistles repeatedly and running to the center of attention to point out some obscure ruling. You have the guys that show up and saunter through the game. They have no pride in their job and are clearly there to pick up their paycheck. Lastly, there are guys who come and put in a solid effort and are there to do their job. Unfortunately, these guys are in the vast minority.

I firmly believe that referees are never to be held responsible for a team winning or losing a game. Unfortunately, these past couple months I am starting to waver in that belief. They are a variable in which no one can control. More often than not I have seen games come down to the wire in recent weeks and a blown call is what determines the outcome. It is absurd!

Time and time again, I feel that officials come under heavy scrutiny. Tommy Heinsohn is notorious for letting refs know how he feels about how poor of a job they are doing. As he should. In the wake of the Tim Donaghy scandal in the NBA, refs are under even more of a microscope. Common sense would dictate that referees would be able to handle their position, call the game, and be done with their day. It is way to bad that there is nothing common about common sense.

I find it wildly unfair that a variable dictates the outcome of a contest. It is time something is done with sub par performance from lackluster officials. The integrity of sports is being compromised by people that have no clue what they are doing. It needs to stop and it needs to stop now.

-Hustle

A Tucker Max Moment

As with any night in college that there was not a test or project due the next day, any number of events could have occurred. On one such night my roommate Dub and I set out to the local beer store that would serve underage kids with horrible fake ID’s. I was 19 at the time and had an ID from Washington DC that stated I was 26 years old with brown eyes and weighed 220. Bear in mind I have blue eyes and weigh about 160. While it was not unusual to come to this convenience store, it was ironic that I was actually younger than Dub and I was the one buying the beers. But when you have attendants that don't speak very good English and are happy to make any kind of sale, identification and more importantly, age, does not become an issue. The beer was bought without any hassle. When we arrived back at our apartment, we found that we were the only ones there. Tommy headed home for the night, Soda was at his girlfriend’s, Millionaire was most likely at the library or one of his buddies’ apartments, and Sack was punching it, more commonly known as masturbating.

Dub and I got right to work playing Drinking Madden. This is a game in which for every first down you make, the opponent drinks 3 sips, every touchdown 7, and any defensive a touchdown you must chug a whole beer. Turnovers are worth five a piece while sacks are three. Needless to say, Beers were being consumed at a rapid rate. Within a few hours the scores were out of control and the case of beer was empty. I was on my way to passing out peacefully. As I stumbled into my bed, I did not realize my computer was still on, or more importantly that Dub was hammering away on my keyboard. This could only mean one thing. He was on my instant messenger and was up to no good. My last memory of that night was falling asleep to the ticking of the keyboard. The next thing I knew was I was drenched with what appeared to be a glass of water that awoke me from my drunken slumber. While I was wildly confused as to how I was all off a sudden soaked, I got up and walked to the bathroom. On my way back to my room the buzzer rang for our apartment. I walked over to the buzzer, pressed the button to stop the horrific noise and I walked back to my bed.

No sooner did I get into my bed than do I look up and see a shadowy figure standing in my room. At first I thought it was Dub, but I was immediately wrong when the shadowy figure spoke with a female voice. It was “Allison” whom bore a resemblance to Dub when seen in the dark. She was not a bus but she was not petite either. The next words that came from her voice were probably the most shocking I’d had heard to date. “Well are you going to fuck me or what?” Being a guy, and drunk at that I was not going to pass this opportunity up. Plus it is my belief that any hookup occurring after 2 in the morning and before 6 should not be held against anyone.

Relations were had and they were dismal. So dismal, I uttered the words, “well that was terrible.” She then screamed, “What? I am out of here!” This was followed by me saying “good” and rolling over and falling asleep.

The next morning I woke up to Soda screaming, “What the fuck is this?” Immediately all the roommates ran into the living room followed by my groggy self to see what the commotion was. Soda was in tears laughing pointing to the garbage where my sheets were, splattered in blood with a bloody condom on top of the sheets. I went to deny what was happening, but since I was the only roommate without sheets on my bed, I figured the denial was worthless. I then promptly headed to Wal-Mart with Dub to get some new sheets.

On the way there Dub offered me this: “I have a confession. I was online with “Allison” last night convincing her to come over. She thought she was talking to you since it was your screen name and I just had to keep going on with it. When she told me she had a vibrator and was playing with herself thinking of you, I had to invite her over right away. That’s when I dumped a glass of water on you and sprinted to my bed. In fairness when any girl says they are using a vibrator thinking of you, you have to invite them over don't you?"

Thanks Dub. I needed new sheets anyways.

Hustle

The Top 5 Argument

During the course of casual conversation a few weeks ago, the topic of the top 5 most attractive women in the world came up. It was quite a fun conversation hearing the various names pop up and how no one could really get a set in stone top 5. Since that conversation, I have put some serious thought into who, gun to my head, top 5 women that I like most in the world are. In other words, if I was the last man on earth, and there were 5 women with me, and all of procreation depended on me, I would not be the slightest bit upset. Without further adieu, I reveal to you my top 5!

5: Erin Andrews: Far and away the sexiest sideline reporter in the history of sports. When she arrives on a college campus, the student section goes bonkers, as they should! In fact, in 2007, she was voted Playboy's Sexiest Sportscaster. If Broadway Joe wanted to kiss Suzy Kolber on Monday Night Football, I can only imagine what Namath would like to do with Ms. Andrews.

4: Minka Kelly: You know her as Lyla Garrity from Friday Night Lights. She is also Derek Jeter's current girlfriend. That man has quite a resume. She is also the daughter of Aersmith guitarist, Ricky Dufay. All that aside she is quite a beauty while maintaining that girl next door image.

3. Stacy Keibler: The former WWE Diva is best known for her sensational legs. Considering legs are among my favorite features on a woman, you this girl had to make my top 5. Keibler was also a Baltimore Ravens cheerleader before she joined the WWE. After her stint with the WWE she appeared on "Dancing with the Stars." I have zero idea what she is doing now.

2:Emmanuelle Chriqui: I stumbled across Emmanuelle completely on accident one night when out of shear boredom I watched "You Don't Mess with the Zohan." It might have been one of the best "accidents" of my life. I quickly "IMDB'ed" her and she quickly shot into the top 5. The fact that I just got into "Entourage" is also helping her cause. But she doesn't not need any help. Plain and simple this girl is smoking.

1: Jennifer Aniston: The apple of my eye. The most beautiful woman walking the planet today. How Brad Pitt could dump her is beyond my realm of comprehension. I love Aniston for how simple she appears. That anyone could be this attractive without showing much effort or using plastic is astounding. I will go see "Marley and Me" simply because she is in it. Yes this woman would have me whipped out of my mind. And I would be proud of it.

-Hustle

Monopoly, Risk, Guess Who?, Etc.

To forewarn those who stumble upon this blog, the post that I am about to create is one that could be compared to being drunk and the thoughts that come in that state of mind. I will start with a topic that sounds like a good idea in my head and as I regurgitate the information I will then discover that I am either a. a genius or b. an idiot. Whichever I discover this I won't stop because I will either be attempting to save myself or living off the glory of a good idea (most likely the first).

Women. Look at that, you know this going haywire already. I have the hardest time cracking their case. I hate their games, I hate everything about how they work. However, I'm always going back for more. It's bizarre how they manage to do that. I'm in a situation right now where I am seeing this girl who is fun, good looking, and just an all around cool girl. One day, we can't stop texting and talking to each other. It's like high school all over again. The next day, stone cold, no response to a text, nothing. So, I stop contacting her and 24 hours later she starts it up again as if I were never ignored.

We've been out a few times alone and it's been great. It isn't uncomfortable at all, we always have something to say, we both enjoy the time and leave the date smiling. All we've done is kiss but, it is very apparent that neither of us want to push into anything to fast, if anything at all. We're just going with the flow, which I like. The last thing I need right now is a serious relationship or any kind of drama. I just turned 24, and yes I may be getting to age where some want to get married but, I just also just got out of a serious 3+ year relationship and I want to see what else is out there for a while. I'm not ruling anything out but, I'm keeping my options open. Keeping an open eye on the horizon as I enjoy the present.

I digress. Anyhow, why the games? Are the games really necessary? Does playing hard to get really increase a person's admiration for another. It certainly does. It sucks as much as the break up that my partner in crime talked about below but, it's part of life. So, here's my advice. Since you are going to get played in situations like this and the aforementioned break up, play the game yourself. Enjoy it. Make the most of it. Turn lemons into lemonade. Put your beer goggles on and make that "eh" girl look like a super model. Play the cards you've been dealt and make them fun, bluff if you have to. Just enjoy your life.

That's my best advice for you. Take it or leave it and do what you want with it because there are two ways to go about this. 1. You can mope and get sucked in their games or 2. you can enjoy a situation that can be potentially be awkward and just live in the moment. Enjoy life, because you only get one shot at and you only get one shot to be young. When you wake up in the morning you are a little bit older than you were the day before. You're losing time so, take advantage of the life you got and live it up now. Play the game. Get in the driver's seat and play the game on her because if you don't she's going to play you like a fiddle.

I know this is a jumbled post but, it's what is on my mind. It does make sense to those who find themselves in a situation like this so, do as I say, not as I do and play the game. Girls hate it, but they'll keep coming back. They love what they can't have more than guys do.

-Makine